


Regretful

by Picklenickle



Series: Backstage [7]
Category: Metalocalypse
Genre: F/M, Gun play, Rape, angst with happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-28
Updated: 2017-12-28
Packaged: 2019-02-22 19:45:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13173903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Picklenickle/pseuds/Picklenickle
Summary: Skwisgaar had a girlfriend but he lost her.  She’s back visiting Pickles.





	Regretful

**Author's Note:**

> Something I’ve been working on for a bit

Swkisgaar walked silently down the halls of the haus. It was early only 7 but the house was still tense from their parents visit only hours ago. The swede had been restless and he didn't wish to be in his once pristine room which now was littered with bottles and other reminders of his self loathing. His mothers visit only dragged him down further into his despair reminding him how much he'd lost when he drove away his girlfriend. 

"Nots sos easys ams it ay son? Keeping thems around?" 

His mothers words still rang in his mind as he furiously played his guitar. His anger radiated through his fingers burning them as he worked. He enjoyed the feeling of the strings slicing his fingers. It had been months since he'd picked up his guitar but he needed to feel something. After all this time feeling numb he just needed something to pour his anger into. 

He stumbled to a halt when he passed pickles room though. His door was open only a crack but he could hear a girl giggling but not any girl his exgirlfriend. He should have known she'd be here. Lily is pickles best friend his entire life. She'd been around the band since the beginning but mostly she came around when during pickles usual post mother visit breakdown. He rolled his eyes of corse pickles had to rely on her. He swore he was about to walk away when he heard the question that he had asked himself a thousand times in the six month span since she left without a word. 

"Whyjah leave dood?" Pickles had said it so quietly that skwisgaar had barely heard it but the weight of the question made him sink down against the wall next to his friends door. 

"Have i Evah told ya you ask to many questions kid" she paused and for a moment he thought he might not get questions. "Fine enough with the face, although I want you to know I do feel guilty telling you the truth before him."

"Yah whatever he's a dildo anyweay" she sighed again pausing long enough for skwisgaar to hear a lighter crack and the bubbling of one of pickles bongs. 

"Well I went out of town for that conference remembah? Well I had called skwis earlier that afternoon asking him what he was doing for the night." He remembered that day vividly he had gone over it in his head so many times trying to pin point when she decided to leave with out a word. 

Lilys uncle Charlie ofersnsndb had convinced her to take a job as his assistant both because her ability to get the boys to actually do work but also to keep an eye on her. Upon Charles request lily had gone in his place to a conference while the boys finished up the album. Skwisgaar wasn't sure what the conference was even about he had never bothered to ask. 

"I amnst doings anythinks tonight just plays guitars" He sat in his room balancing his phone between his ear and shoulder. "Yous still cominks home tomorrow right?"

"Yeah I still got a few things I got to finish up here. You're not gunna go out with everyone tonight? Maybe celebrate the last night you have without a girlfriend ruining your fun." 

"Pfft as if am havinks da girlfriend ams held me back anies" He put his guitar off to the side and picked up a small velvet box he had been hiding for 2 months. He played anxiously opening and closing the top with a click. 

"As if you could keep up with me old man," she scoffed "no sluts around tonight though? Losing our touch are we hmm?" She teased him. They had never been exclusive they never felt the need. 

"Onlies girlfriends that what complainks abouts me not sleeps with sluts" 

"Well if your alone," her tone suddenly dropped to a whisper and his blood rushed south. 

"I ams" he placed the ring box back onto his night stand before he began undoing his belt. Pulling his member free he began slowly stroking it listen to her whisper into her the phone. 

 

\--------------------------------------------------------

"I believed him, I wanted to surprise him ya know. I was on my way back when I called." 

His heart stuttered to a stop. He hadn't known she had caught him. He wanted to explain to tell her what actually happened. He put his head in his hands this whole situation was his fault.  
——-

He swore he only left his room for a few minutes to run to pickles room to steal some weed from his secret stash, that wasn't a secret to anyone. When he returned to his room to find a petite girl standing away from. 

"Whos is yous? Hows yous gets in here?" 

"I'm your biggest fan skwisgaar" she turned around the lines in her face cut sharply into her cheeks framing her Cheshire smile.

"Pftt of course I ams the best" he rolled his eyes he didn't have time for some deranged fan he just wanted to get high and practice the new track list for the upcoming tour. "Yous can leaves now" He opened the door inviting her to leave his room. 

"I don't think I'll be going anywhere," she pulled a gun out of her purse "Close the door"

"What's is yous wanting" he didn't budge he remained his cool outwardly but his heart was pounding in his ears and he was cursing every passing moment a klockateer didn't walk by and see his distress. 

"Close the fucking door," her movements were erratic and his calm facade faltered for a moment. He budged forward slight letting the door close behind him. The lock clicked and he was suddenly aware how trapped he felt. He had spent his entire life running from this exact feeling. "Drop your pants"

"W-whats" he was even surprised at how shrill his voice suddenly got but quickly regained his composure "Nos gets out before I calls securizy" 

"I said drop your pants" she wielded the gun frantically waving it around in his face and he just as frantically undid his belt and pants dropping them to the floor. His heart was beating so fast he could hear it in his ears.

“Get on the bed” she waved the gun towards his bed then back at him. 

“Wes cans talk about dis, you donts , I’s will gives you anything” he felt bile in his throat as she cocked the gun. 

“I ain’t fucking around” That made him shut his mouth and he slowly got on to the bed. “Good. Now your gunna put a baby in me or I’m gunna blow your pretty brains out”

She climbed on top of him and he kept his eyes closed. He let his body go on autopilot like he did when he was young and his mother would pimp him out to her older friends. He hasn’t felt this out of control in years. “Tell me you love me” she breathed in his ear suddenly. 

“Whats” he said his eyes shot open retching as he remembered his predicament. She was riding him pressed on top of him with the gun pressed tightly to his temple. 

“Tell me you fucking love me” he squeezed his eyes shut and kept thinking of Lily. How he hadn’t even told her how much she really meant to him. As soon as he gets out of this he’s going to call her he has to tell her. 

“I loves you” he repeated the phrase over and over like a prayer. Thinking only of Lily. He finally came with a deep moan and like that she was gone into the castle and out of his life. Skwisgaar sat on his bed for a long time until he gathered the strength to make it to the bathroom. He spent the next hour vomiting he didn’t even hear Lily in the next room. he finally gathered himself off the floor and made his way back into the room to find that she had returned. She was in the closet pulling her clothes off the shelves silently. 

“What’s am you doing” his voice was still shaking and he hated how weak he felt. 

“I’m leaving” she said quietly continuing her packing. 

“You just got back” he was panicking suddenly he needed her he needed to forget. “How longs will you be gone” 

“I’m not coming back, I’m leaving for good” her voice was calm but cold. He grabbed her suddenly to make her stop. But she ripped away from him. 

“Fines whatever I don’ts care you were a shitty fucks anyhow” he said just as cold before walking out. That’s the last time he had seen her until now.  
———  
“I didn’t care that he slept around, I just thought I meant something to him, when I heard him tell that girl he loved her...” skwisgaar heard her began to cry and it broke him. 

He couldn’t listen to anymore. He got up and headed to the to the kitchen. Quietly sulking he fixed himself a cup a coffee but his stomach was in knots so he jus stared at it. He must have been there for a while because when he glanced out the window the sun was beginning to set. He glanced up suddenly at the door frame feeling a presence behind him. 

“I’ll goes” he got up suddenly. 

“I know you were listening outside the door earlier” he sat back down the weight of her words him back into his seat. 

“I’s didn’t mean for its to happen like dis, for all of dis to crumble likes da cookie” he hated how raw his voice sounded. “I wants you to knows that yous was,” he paused “ams important to mes. Is ams sorry I didnt wants I mean it doesn’t matter yous am better off without me” she sat down beside him and took his hand in his. “Is haves something for yous in my room.” He pulled her gently by her hand if she wanted to slip out she could but she let him lead her through the halls silently. He glanced at her trying to read her face but it was quiet of emotion. 

“Did we end up in Pickles room” she joked lightly when he opened the door revealing the vile conditions he had subjected himself to since she left. 

“Funnies” he mumbled as he fumbled through his drawers finally finding the ring that he hadn’t been able to glance at in months. With his heart in his throat he placed the box in her hand. “Is got dis for yous. Befores everything.” He wasn’t sure how she react to this but he knew not to expect her to take him back. He glanced up at her and noticed tears running down her face. “Is sorries. Fucks I can’t even apologize likes a normal dildo” but suddenly she was kissing him.


End file.
